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| You pick a place, that's where I'll be. |
| 03.28.04 (7:35 pm) [edit] |
[mood-- pensive]
[music-- Someday the Waves by Iron and Wine]
Whispering longing calls to me over expanses of paved roads.
Tears come before reason does.
I'll be Ok someday. But for now.. I'll cry.
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| An Introduction to Beautiful Boys |
| 03.10.04 (2:37 pm) [edit] |
[music-- Scent of Lime by Long Winters]
[feeling-- Rested. I actually got two solid nights of sleep in a row for once.]
So, OK. Rant time.
Out of all of my friends, only really Leslie and Mikka are girls. Jess doesn't count, she's my sister. I'm talking school friends. Most of them are guys. This is cool because, uhmnn, well, really, girls suck. I mean, Leslie and Mikka, they're exceptions. And there are other exceptions. But overall, girls are tacky and they suck. So the majority of my friends being male doesn't bother me: I mean, there's Codie, obviously, and Carson, and so in our close "family" of friends, girls do seemingly outnumber boys.... But then there is to be taken into consideration the "gaming" contingent of our extended "family". Mikey. Obviously male. Joseph. Jonathan. Yes, males. And next year, the slowly expanding population of cool kids in the grade below us will join us in high school, and then Mikka, Les, and I will really be outnumbered. Because I mean, then there will be Codie, Carson, Mikey, Joseph, Jonathan, Brandon, Hunter, Aaron, and well... if you can count him, Scott. (Hehe.) The only reason I bring it up is because obviously this rather large portion of our friends has forgotten we are girls. Which... which, well, I like. Because people are really just too delicate around girls, tiptoeing around "sensitive" subjects and words and... well, I mean, honestly I don't care if Codie talks about what kind of thighs he likes a girl to have, or if Carson talks about wanting to watch porn. I mean, OK, mildly creepy, but I'm over it. But in getting as comfortable as they are in ignoring or girl-ness, they have forgotten our ability to weild the same power. At least Carson has. So Carson, this entry is for you.
Now the thing about Carson is he simply has no semblance of an idea about what sexy is. None. Zip. And he COULD blame it on being a guy. But I don't even think Carson and I would agree on what makes a GIRL pretty. And after a brief consultation with Leslie, we have confirmed that it is obviously not a matter of taste, because we've much better taste than he. When Leslie and I showed him our book which we had painstakingly created called "Guys Can Be Pretty, Guys Can Be Gorgeous: An Introduction To Beautiful Boys" apparently nothing clicked. He thought Conor Oberst looked like a weird druggy (which... ehh... true enough, but he is still magnificent), he thought James Iha looked like "an ugly chick" (uhh! Hello! He's like the most gorgeous man ever.), he thought Billy Corgan was "obviously gay" (Billy Corgan was the STRAIGHTEST person in the entire booklet) and Beck looked "dead". And he didn't understand our penchant with referring to guys as "pretty", "gorgeous", and "beautiful". Was he expecting a giddy-school-girl chorus of "OmG, he is liek soooo HAWT. Yeah, he iz really cutez." Uhh, rethink it Carson. ::grins::
WELL. As Leslie, Mikka, and I have, in great detail, explained, nothing which is exceedingly manly can be considered attractive. Muscles are gross, and they ruin the lines of clothing. Muscly necks make me hide and whimper in disgust. Most facial hair is repulsive, and mustaches are almost without fail hideous. But I have known a guy or two to pull off facial hair (See: the Indie Rock beard. I have only recently been introduced to the concept...) But still! Masculinity is just altogether overrated. In either gender. Carson, before you dedicate a SINGLE syllable more to calling me a lesbian EVER again, remember that the only thing that scares me more than a guy whose broad and muscled chest strains the fabric of his shirt as he prepares to cut down a tree or get into a brawl, is such a woman... So in general, the prettiest girls are those who actually look like girls.... and the prettiest guys are those who kind of look like girls. Or at least those who cannot be considered manly. Yeah. Lumberjacks... suck.
Never fear, Carson. The second volume is coming up. You'll understand soon enough.
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| The Peoples.... |
| 03.05.04 (6:10 pm) [edit] |
[music-- still the Cure, now with Boys Don't Cry]
[feeling-- my creative womb is bursting with new fruits]
So I'll start out with my cast of characters:
My Jessie- 20. She's tallish, and lovely, round faced with long red spiral curls. She writes better than me, draws better than me, and plays guitar better than me. She's intelligent, sharp, sensitive, violently moody, she has some self esteem porblems, she's very reliable, she's logical, neat, and contained. She's got amazing self control. She's got to be the most selfless person in the world. Or the most supportive. Or something.
My Leslie- 15. Thin and bright, dirty blonde hair with almost-bangs that barely stay behind her ears. Square glasses and bright eyes, and the nicest blazers. Ever. She's seriously the only person, in the world, ever, who I have never had a problem with. I've known her since I was four. That girl is so together. She's my best friend. She understands me spiritually more than... like anybody. We've had so many months of understanding and talking and dreaming together that being with her is just as comfortable as being by myself. She's intelligent, well read, full of conviction, reasonable, wry, and silly as all hell. People freak out when we're not together, 'cause we're ALWAYS together.
The Codie- 14. The Codie is short (although.. I'm shorter) , with dirty blonde hair with some black mixed in, rosy cheeks, and, by hook or by crook, Leshie, Mikka and I will have him wearing eyeliner soon enough. He's "cute". And I don't call boys cute meaning hot. Codie's more like a 4 year old boy cute. Or a rabbit. He shuffles and grins and is pretty damn suave. And I must say, he's giving Leslie a run for her money on that blazer issue. I guess the thing that surprises me so about Codie is that he has become a musical sponge. So I can hold really nice conversations with him about kind of obscure bands.
The Mikka- 15. Mikka Dee is just... indescribable, frankly. She's classically beautiful, everyone says so. She's got an excellent profile and she wields a mascara brush like a sword of justice. Ok, maybe not, but she wears make up nicely. I feel like Mikka understands a lot about me because we're a lot the same in the head, which is to say, we go through some pretty emotional times. She's the embodiment of shy but then she'll go and surprise you by yelling out brashly and dancing like a crazy girl. And the words that come out of that girl's mouth at four in the morning. She's incredible.
Carson-14 or 15. Tall (yes, I'll give him that, he's tall) at something amazing like 6'8 or 6'9. He's got wierd curly blond afro hair. He furrows his brow alot, and gives long, appraising sarcastic looks. He's very funny. And honest. And he makes some pretty astute observations. But then he's also obnoxious, impulsive, and frankly, just kind of a dork. Really, though, he gets beaten down a lot and I think he deserves some backing. He's an A-OK guy.
Mama the Rhino- 47. My mother. She's large, lumbering, obnoxious, close-minded, and annoying as hell some of the time. Not to mention unreasonable. But uhhh... well, I love her alot anyways, because sometimes she's soft spoken and nice and understanding, logical, and happy, and smelling of lotion. Sometimes she's crazy. Sometimes she's cute. She tries to learn Cure and Pixies and Bright Eyes songs to impress Leslie and Mikka.
Denton the Amazing- 23. Denton the Amazing is my brother. He's amazing. He is tall and kind of noble looking with curly red hair. He's the most intelligent person I know. And he just DOES things. I don't know. He's like my hero or something... Yeah. I learned the wonders of spite and verbal abuse (were you wondering where that came from Leslie? Carson?) from Denton. And I probably should have picked up something or other from him about comics and dorky board games and video games along the way, but that's what I'm working on now, catching up.
Jonathan-14 or 15. Wow... you know, it's sad. I haven't talked to Jonathan in a long time. Anyways, he's a cool guy.
Mikey- 14 or 15. Ok. Mikey is like the weirdest, greatest guy. But I swear to god he is the epitome of epilepsy. And I guess he's pretty much like the smartest ever, too. But still, he's fuckin' spastic. He mumbles all of his words together (His like... catch phrase is "It'sstupidIdon'tlikeit") and steals people's backpacks and uhmnn, well, he's the only person off of the top of my head, that I don't mind coming around at lunch just to mock us. It's uhh... pretty hilarious. And, while I don't agree with all of the things he thinks, he knows what he's talking about most of the time.
Joseph- 14 or 15. Joseph is seriously the coolest. He's shy and quiet and awesome. He just kind of minds his own business aside from looking up every once in a while to give you a mildly psychotic wide eyed stare. He's amazingly polite, considerate, and cool. A touch insane. And *such* a good artist.
Zachary- 19. A really (really) pretty boy who makes bad decisions.
Brandon- 13 or 14. Round faced with tiny little brown bangs and giggles like a girl. He's just... all around awesome, basically. We're going to get that kid into so much fuckin' good music... But yeah, he's awesome. One of the coolest people to spend a day with.
Zachariah- 30 (about). Usually just "Zac". Anyways, he's my cousin. He games alot. He's tall, thin to the point of emaciation, with long long straight blond hair. He's clever and he knows it. He's uhh... awesome.
Ameris- 31 (about) Zac's wife. She's got long ill-kempt hair, a pretty face, and bad fashion sense. She's nice... but impulsive, unreliable, and sometimes just rude. She never means to be, but she's kinda intolerable. I probably liked her better before I knew her as well or saw her as much.
Nate- 6. The older of Zac's two boys. He's extremely intelligent. Like, amazingly so. He's violent, perceptive, frank, and speaks with all the worldliness of someone 5 times his age.
Hunter- 4. Cute. As all hell. Giggly and mild-mannered, eyes shining with fascination.
More later...
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| ::sighs softly:: |
| 03.05.04 (4:56 pm) [edit] |
[music-- the Cure with "Mint Car"]
[feeling-- dreamy]
I like the days that go by slow, limp, and languid, smiling softly, grey skies just a bit too tangible. Today was one of those days.
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